Woe is me. The season is over. Everything is awful. Fire everyone.
Sure, Auburn isn't exactly happy with how Saturday night went in Jordan-Hare Stadium as the Tigers struggled to put away San Jose State, a mid-tier mid-major traveling 3,000 miles for a paycheck and shot at garnering a program-defining win.
But here's a little secret: it could have been much worse. Let's just take a look around the college football nation. Actually, let's start in the SEC.
Texas A&M, with its $9 million coach, top recruiting class, NIL money coming out of the wahoo, preseason hype and for what? A loss to Appalachian State – a good Appalachian State team, by the way – in which the Mountaineers ran 44 more plays, and the Aggies couldn't pass the century mark in rushing or passing.
Or take a look at South Bend, where Touchdown Jesus saw NBC's most-beloved team go down to Marshall to start the season 0-2. Or Nebraska. Jesus, look at Nebraska. The Huskers gave up 642 yards (409 passing) to Georgia Southern. That result was so bad that the powers in Lincoln decided they couldn't wait until Oct. 1 to fire Scott Frost for $5 million less on the buyout.
So yes, it could be worse. Just listen to Bryan Harsin.
"You never say a win is a win, but it's always good to win," the Auburn coach said. "It's hard to win. And I think that's one thing, if you look at what happened today, everybody realizes that."
Harsin knows they have to get better. So do the players. That was made evident in postgame interviews following the 24-16 win. They understand what is coming up this Saturday and the rest of the schedule. But they also know what their head coach is saying is true about winning.
"Every team, when they play a lower-level team, and they come to your house and play you, it's like the Super Bowl," Marcus Harris said. "So any time you get a win, especially against those types of teams, it's a good win. They come in, and they're ready to play."
Now the reality: if Auburn was playing a better team, chances are the Tigers walk off the field with a loss. The offense sputtered the entire first half and was stagnant except for three offensive possessions in the second. The defense, stuck behind the proverbial eight ball, bailed out Eric Kiesau's group. Overall, it was a mediocre effort from a team that needs much more going forward.
But it could be so much worse. Ask Jimbo Fisher if he would want to be 2-0. And the now-jobless Frost. Marcus Freeman is now 0-3 as the head coach of the Fighting Irish. You don't think they would take an ugly win right now?
"At the end of the day, the goal is to win, and that's always the goal," Harsin said. "The goal is to be 1-0 every single week … I don't take it for granted."
Nor should anyone.