Published Apr 24, 2025
STULTZ: Rambling on Pearl's rebuild, being a bat boy
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Brian Stultz  •  AuburnSports
Staff Writer
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@brianjstultz

There was some speculation that the 2024-25 season would be Bruce Pearl's last run at a national title. The head coach put together a roster full of talented veterans who were talented enough to get Auburn over that hump and win it all.

The Tigers came close. But as it turns out, that was far from Pearl's last ride. He and his staff have put together another monster of a roster that will have them in the top 10 next preseason and give them the talent, size and shooting to get back to the Final Four.

How will the chemistry be? That shall be determined. But Auburn fans should be excited about the product that will be on the floor next season. Now, let's get into some ramblings.

- I'm still on a kick of watching comedy movies from the 1980s and can honestly say that 99 percent of Hollywood must have been on cocaine at the time because some of the movies are downright hilariously awful. Prime example? Mannequin. Have you never seen it? Here is how IMDB describes the plot:

"A young artist, searching for his vocation, makes a mannequin so perfect he falls in love with it. Finding the mannequin in a store window, he gets a job there and his creation comes to life."

That's insane enough before you add in the fact that the creation (Kim Cattrall, pre-Sex and the City) was somehow zapped from 2514 BC when she was an Egyptian princess. Powerful drug, that cocaine.

- Listening to the radio in San Antonio, it became quickly clear that San Antonio has a hard water problem due to the amount of plumbing commercials. I didn't know this was a thing, but it is clearly a massive flaw in San Antonio.

- It's only April, but I love this year's Chicago Cubs team. They are fun to watch, although the pitching could really use some help.

- Speaking of pitching, what a performance by Christian Chatterton, John Armstrong, Carson Myers and Cam Tilly in the shutout win over Georgia Tech on Tuesday night. It was also a weird game in that the first three innings lasted nearly two hours while the final six lasted close to an hour.

- I would gripe about the fact that the loudspeaker at Plainsman Park plays sound effects during any silent moment, but that would be hypocritical of me as I used to do the same when controlling the music and sound effects for Rice baseball back in 2007. I was a DJ at its finest. Also, the Owls' victory song after a game was "Simply the Best" by Tina Turner.

- For Friday night's baseball game against Mississippi State, some of my golf group buddies and I will be sitting in a cabana along the third-base line. If you are at the game, come by and let's talk. I'm going to turn the experience into a column.

- I am also officially requesting that the Auburn athletic department let me be a bat boy for one game. Let's make this happen, people!

- TikTok of the Week: I'm not a big NBA fan, but watching Steph Curry do Steph Curry things will never get old.

- I'm returning to New York City in June for the first time since leaving due to COVID-19 and playing in my local bar's annual golf tournament at Van Cortland Golf Course, the oldest public course in America. It's weird to play golf in the Bronx, but it's a nice course. It will also be great to see some great friends I have missed.

- As most know, I am a Cincinnati Bengals fan, so I do have some interest in the NFL draft tonight, but not much. It would be nice if they got some offensive linemen that would keep Joe Burrow from getting killed, but I've been watching this franchise too long and know they will go in the opposite direction.

- I looked at (coach's name redacted) final signing class during his short time at Auburn and it was a who's who of "oh yeah, that guy really was here for a bit." It's like reading the list of Cleveland Browns quarterbacks since Bernie Kosar.

- Finally, and this is coming two weeks late, but I want to thank everyone who reached out via text, email, social media and, most importantly, on the Bunker to wish me a happy birthday. My 44th was spent golfing, having massive laughs and enjoying dinner with some close friends. Whoever thought it was funny to put "50" candles on my birthday cake will be paid back, though.