STULTZ: Rambling after a deranged week

It has been a week, and Auburn has yet to kick it off against Mississippi State in Starkville tomorrow. So many changes between hirings and firings, basketball got started, and, well, sleep has been at a premium. But who would want it any other way? A brighter future is ahead.

Yessir, it has been insane in and around Auburn in the first few days of November. Did we mention lack of sleep? Okay, we did. Good. Mountain Dew has been a friend of mine this week – yeah, I know, absolutely disgusting – along with my sixth or seventh rewatch of Parks and Recreation.

Anyhoo, it’s a lovely Friday afternoon, and I’m certain those who can are taking advantage of it. Me? I’m getting rid of these crazy thoughts in my brain in the latest edition of my ramblings. Giddy up!

- I am writing this while at the Walk-On’s in Hoover as I’m staying with some friends here tonight before heading to Starkville to cover the game. Am I pumped that the one in Opelika is close to opening? Absolutely. Do I love their food? Yes. Am I hoping someone from corporate sees this and gives me free stuff for the shoutout? Oh, buddy. You know me too well.

- To prepare for the cowbell situation in Davis Wade Stadium, I recently went to Academy Sports to purchase some earplugs. Those, as you may know, are located in the gun section. I have never felt more out of place in my life. Interestingly enough, the lady who checked me out didn’t even pretend to act like I was buying them to go hunting. Smart woman.

- There is a 100 percent chance of rain for the game tomorrow, so between that and Cadillac being the interim head coach, we might see Tank and Jarquez run the ball approximately 50 times. Mississippi State’s run defense ranks 59th in the country, allowing 137.38 yards per game. That could also be a factor.

- While getting my haircut this week, the barber asked me what I did for a living. I answered, and then, not thinking, asked her, “And yourself?” I shouldn’t be allowed to speak sometimes.

- Monday’s season-opening game against George Mason is a sneaky good one for Bruce Pearl and the boys. That run the Patriots made to the Final Four in 2006 is still one of my favorites, right behind Stephen Curry becoming an uber-star during the 2008 tournament. I’m not counting Auburn moments in these, by the way.

- There are some things not to like about John Calipari, but after he tweeted about that coal miner rushing to see the Wildcats in action in Eastern Kentucky and inviting his family to Lexington for a VIP experience, you have to applaud him. I’m pretty sure my grandfather was a coal miner, so that hits home.

- Austin Wiley and Danjel Purifoy had to sit out an entire season due to their coach’s actions, but the coaches involved in the same bust, mainly Rick Pitino, will go unpunished. Yep. The NCAA really cares about student-athletes. (And yes, I tweeted that last night.)

- I wonder if John Cohen plays golf and, if so, would like to invite him for a round to get to know him. That is the best way to learn who a person truly is, especially after a frustrating triple bogey.

- If Cadillac comes into the post-game press conference within 30 minutes of the end of the game, the Auburn beat might give him a round of applause. In fact, that should definitely be done.

- Jersey Boys: Starkville Edition. Two terrific guys originally from the Garden State, Roc Bellantoni and Eric Mele, will face off on Saturday. Bellantoni, as you know, is Auburn’s EDGE rushers coach. Mele is the Bulldogs’ running back coach. They go back some time, including both being on Mike Leach’s staff at Washington State. I can’t wait for that group text chat afterward.

- I refuse to pay for a blue checkmark on Twitter despite having one. Sorry, Elon.

- Do you think the Boise Boys still had to use Waze to get to their office or not? “Honey, I’m lost again. I’m in somewhere called Real-ton.”

- ESPN just showed the Hail Mary highlight of the 2016 Tennessee-Georgia game, and I had totally forgotten that Butch Jones once had the Volunteers at No. 9 in the nation. That seems impossible, but it actually happened. Brick by brick, baby!

- How was Jim Donnan never in jail for financial fraud? No, seriously. I need someone a lot smarter than me to explain why he’s was never behind bars. I must be missing something.

- I know medical research teams are working on many more important things, but I would pay heavily to one that invented a pill that makes you forget your dreams or not dream at all. Mine are sometimes scarring. Wait, have I said too much? But yeah. Go to work on that, Pfizer.

- Finally, I call on everyone that may be on the fence about attending next week’s game against Texas A&M to either come and be loud or give your ticket to someone that will. These players deserve it after everything they have gone through. Also, you get to boo Jimbo Fisher.