The 2024 SEC Media Days have arrived, and, as always, the head coaches will be peppered with questions ranging from the most tedious to outrageous. That got me thinking: what if I could ask each of the 16 coaches a serious and not-so-serious question if I had a moment with them?

Since I won't be attending media days in Dallas, I won't get my shot, but I figured I could write them out in case any of them are reading this. (I'm joking.)

Without further ado, here are two questions for the 16 SEC head football coaches.

Serious - "Are you crazy thinking you can fill the shoes of arguably the greatest coach in college football history?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "No, seriously. Are you crazy?"

Serious - "How can you win a fan base back that seemed to check out on you last season?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "You do realize Bobby will ultimately backstab you, right?"

Serious - "What's the feeling in the facility now that you and your offensive staff are back using the same lingo and language, unlike last year?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Who is older: you or Luke Deal?"

Serious - (Stares at him with a sad face) "Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy, buddy, buddy. I'm so sorry."

Not Serious (Sort of) - What is the square footage of your house in case I want to buy in Gainesville?"

Serious - "How do you keep your players from getting complacent considering the massive amount of success?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Have you considered putting governors on your players' cars?"

Serious - "Did you ever think you would be the longest-tenured coach in this conference?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Aren't you glad John Calipari is gone? You won, buddy!"

Serious - "How have you transitioned to the Southeast after being north of the Mason-Dixon Line all of your life?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Can you do an Irish jig for us?"

Serious - "How difficult is it to come into a program mostly built for an Air Raid offense and change that to your and your offensive coordinator's scheme?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Who, exactly, are you?"

Serious - "How do you temper the expectations for Missouri after such a breakout season last year?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Do people mistake you for their accountant? Also, can you do my taxes?"

Serious - "What, in your opinion, is the biggest difference between the SEC and Big 12?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "How sick do you get of hearing Boomer Sooner?"

Serious - "What would it feel like to take Ole Miss to its first SEC Championship Game?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Where's your dog? I want to pet him."

Serious - "With all of the talent in the state of South Carolina, why have the Gamecocks always been an underwhelming program?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Robby Ashford? Really? That's the answer?"

Serious - "Do you like Tony Vitello?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Tell us the truth!"

Serious - "Do you think Texas can compete for SEC and national titles now that you are in a stronger conference?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Why are you such a baby about the Horns Down thing? Grow up."

Serious - "How do you handle the epic-sized expectations for A&M in only your third year as a head coach?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "You know you can do nothing for two years, no recruiting, no form of coaching, and get a pretty good buyout, right? We call that the Bryan Harsin Con.

Serious - "What would a successful season look like for Vanderbilt this season?"

Not Serious (Sort of) - "Nashville is overrated. Oh, I don't have a question."