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ADOB: A look at Malzahn's 'green flags'

Like you, I've spent most of my life hearing about "RED FLAGS" and how they portend bad things and bad people. I have many RED FLAGS myself — including colored hair, a love of soccer and respect for sunscreen.

However, there is a flip side to this kind of stereotyping. How about a GREEN FLAG? These are traits that portend good things, good vibes, good people.

Since "we" spend so much time on the Bunker identifying Malzahn's RED FLAGS and explaining in exhaustive detail how they spoil his potential, let's take a look at some of the GREEN FLAGS that could/should maximize his potential as a coach and/or Auburn Personality.

1. HE'S ALWAYS ON TASK. Yes, you sometimes wonder what that task is when Auburn runs up the middle 15 times in a row at LSU. Still, some coaches consider fame to be a reward for being a big-time football coach. I'm looking at you, Jimbo Fisher. With Malzahn, we all safely can assume that he's spending time, perhaps too much time, thinking about football every single day of his life. He actually avoids cameras and interviews unless they're paying him to be in studio. Even then, he says as little as possible. Auburn might be paying him a massive salary, but Auburn certainly has his full attention personally and professionally.

2. HE DOESN'T CAUSE OFF-THE-FIELD SHAME. This is related to the first item insofar as his mind is football all the time. There's simply no time for him to pick up a DUI (he doesn't drink) or get into a tawdry relationship with a side piece or get into thorny business ventures. He has few friends. He has few interests outside of football. The darkest thoughts in Malzahn's mind involve Oklahoma's wishbone offense from 1985 or Jack Pardee's Run-and-Shoot from '89.

3. HE DOESN'T GET POLITICAL. We're now in an era where EVERYONE has a hot political take, or at least isn't shy about making their political affiliations known (Orgeron, Ferentz, Leach, Meyer). An unusually good grasp of football strategy and recruiting acumen made these men rich; those traits have nothing to do with them being learned political scholars. Or pundits. Or pseudo-experts. Or really anything different than us (you and I) when it comes to discussing politics. These coaches are sure to alienate a portion of their base when taking a political stand, which seems like a silly thing to do. Coaches need to build support, not erode it. I don't think Malzahn goes that deeply with it, though. See the first item.

4. HE IS CAPABLE OF BEING FUN. This video changed things forever. Gus loves his button-down persona, and it's a damn accurate representation of who he is today, but he wasn't always so serious. He used to cut up like a "regular guy" in his 20s. I use that phrase in quotes because tucking in a screen-printed t-shirt never was in style. The simple existence of this GIF and some of the playful digs he takes at me suggests that Gus is capable of having fun. He knows some people speak in "humor" and sometimes he speaks in humor just to show that he can.

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Malzahn showed off these moves while on a family vacation in 1996.
Malzahn showed off these moves while on a family vacation in 1996.

5. HE'S A SELF-MADE MILLIONAIRE. I know your first thought here is that Gus Jimmy Sexton hot-boxed Auburn into a $49-million contract that's 75% guaranteed at all times. That's what agents do — they take advantage of rubes (Steven Leath in this case) and make a bunch of money for their clients. That is Sexton's function. Gus went from being a high-school head coach to SEC head coach in the span of just eight seasons. He doesn't have traditional mentors. He didn't play for legendary coaches. He wasn't a great player himself. He willed himself into becoming a successful head coach. That storyline is one most casual observers would champion. Auburn people sometimes have a tough time appreciating that storyline, often for defensible reasons, but he still deserves a lot of credit for climbing the coaching ladder with remarkable efficiency. That audacity still is in there somewhere — and it means Malzahn always is a candidate to make things click.

6. HE MANAGES DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS WELL. This statement includes more opinion than the others, yes, but this isn't a reach. I still think about Duke Williams' situation somewhat often. The mercurial wideout kept getting into small-ish snafus. Malzahn kept telling him enough was enough. Then Williams (accidentally) broke a teammate's jaw during a downtown fracas and Malzahn pulled the plug. In the middle of the season. Dameyune Craig kept pleading for patience with Williams and Malzahn went at least one step further as a result. Though Williams eventually wasted that last chance -- much to Craig's chagrin, I might add — it was an interesting case. Williams came from a particularly difficult background, something Malzahn knew well, and believed in Williams' ability to improve himself within the structured regimen of Life As An Auburn Football Player. Though some people would call Duke Williams a failure or Auburn's attempt to improve Duke Williams a failure, he went on to lead the Canadian Football League in receiving last season. Williams was signed by the Buffalo Bills during the winter and has kept his nose clean for a few years now. In fact, he recently said that he'll "never take (football) for granted again."

I also think about the suspension Malzahn doled out to Jermaine Whitehead during the 2014 season. Whitehead is a good guy, though a bit impulsive. He delivered an unacceptably profane and insubordinate rant aimed at assistant coach Charlie Harbison during practice. Malzahn (rightly) judged that to be unacceptable and suspended Whitehead for six games. Whitehead is an NFL player these days and certainly played a big role for the Tigers in 2014. Again, it was a tough call.

Malzahn strikes a good balance; he'll give kids a pass or two when the misbehavior is excusable, but he's strong when the misbehavior is inexcusable.

7. HIS WIFE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE. Anything negative said about Kristi Malzahn is really just someone taking a positive and turning it into a slight to push an agenda. Is she opinionated? Indeed she is. Some men believe women shouldn't have opinions. One Alabama fan even doctored a video in an attempt to make her (and Gus) look bad. She's vivacious and sarcastic and self-aware and generally a ton of fun. So, yeah, basically the opposite of Gus. I believe the best marriages are between spouses who thrive due to their differences rather than shun those differences ... or mask the differences in the interest of peace. When I find myself in a place where I start seeing Gus as a robot, I think about how he married Kristi and adapted to her style and now appreciates her style. He made a great choice — albeit one that wasn't easy. That says something about his character. And hers.

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