Hi, John Cohen. We want to welcome you to the Plains. Your new area code is 334. Your office is located on the corner of Donahue and Samford. Yes, the real estate market is that difficult right now. No, it is not wise to try and find parking downtown anytime after 5 p.m.

Have you received your welcome package full of orange and blue ties? If not, it is on the way.

Let’s see. What else should you know? Hmmm. Oh right. Football. You are now in charge of fixing this. Think you were going to have time to settle into the job? Ha. The Auburn fan base has turned its lonely eyes toward you, and this could very well be the most critical decision you make in your career.

This once-proud program has reached rock bottom, possibly even lower. There are schools out-recruiting Auburn right now that shouldn’t be in the same conversation as the Tigers. The team’s roster is not championship-caliber, and it’s not even close. The no-name coach from Idaho has left the cupboard almost bare, and a lot of work must be done.

You can’t miss. In fact, you can’t even hit a triple. A grand slam is necessary. Someone who will make Nick Saban, Kirby Smart and the rest of the SEC head coaches raise their heads and say, “Oh, now they mean business.” A coach that will actually put their heart and soul into the program, not just claim it. A man that will hit the ground running from the first day, hour and minute to ensure that nothing goes untended to or ignored.

This, John, is critical. Bruce Pearl and Butch Thompson – two great coaches, by the way – have their programs in excellent shape. Greg Williams is the GOAT of the equestrian world. Every program other than the one that plays in Jordan-Hare Stadium is seemingly on an upward trajectory.

But let’s be honest here: Auburn might consider it an #EverythingSchool, but for it to be that, football has to be at its best. It is what brings the donors’ money in. It feeds this community’s economy seven or eight weekends a year. It is what made the Auburn brand known nationally. It is what Auburn does.

That’s not the case right now, but you know that. After all of the success you’ve had at Mississippi State in charge of the Bulldogs, President Christopher Roberts, a wise man, decided to bring you in to fix this. And, as we’ve seen at other schools, it is not a complicated fix. Find the right man, and soon you will be greeted with standing ovations. Find the wrong one? Well, you can ask your predecessor about that.

Here’s some good news: you definitely can’t find a worse hire than the one made in December 2020. Well, I mean, you can, but that would require making the worst hire in the history of sports. I’m confident you won’t do that.

So, throw out all that maroon and white – and that darn cowbell – and start making your mark with a home-run hire. The future of the Auburn football program now lies in your hands and first impressions matter.

You have the money behind you. You have the experience of hiring great leaders. And, with the right hire, you will have the support of the Auburn fan base.

So welcome to Auburn, John. The pressure starts now.