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December 24, 2007

The Telepathic Tabernacle Bowl Game Extravaganza - Week Two

Six bowl games are in the books and already it's evident those books should be burned. The Telepathic Tabernacle has been noted for their keen judgment and ability to see through the haze of college football's bowl season - but that was back in 1999 when the mind was sharp and the knee was not trick. Now there are 32 bowl games and darned if the TeleTab can keep them all straight with Whozit State playing Whatzit Tech in the Thingamabobby Bowl. But that is no excuse for mediocrity. No, "the dog ate the homework" should do nicely there. The fact of the matter is that there is no way a Sun Belt team wins a bowl game and yet, there it was last week when Florida Atlantic was doing some nasty things to Memphis. Then there are Nevada and UCLA - the Tab doesn't even want to go there - that was beyond nasty in both cases. But this is Week Two and although Week One was not spectacular, at least the Tab is above the equator. Welcome to Week Two of the Tab's 2007 Holiday Bowl Game Extravaganza.

"Ted Nugent" Motor City Bowl

Central Michigan [8-5] v. Purdue [7-5]

Line: Purdue by 4

Straight Up - Purdue

Against The Spread - Purdue

Tab Sez: Exhibit 2 in the case against too many bowl games - another rematch. Purdue clocked the Chippewas the first time these two teams met and the only thing different this time will be the location and the pre-game buffet.

Holiday Bowl

Arizona State [10-2] v. Texas [9-3]

Line: PK

Straight Up - Texas

Against The Spread - Texas

Tab Sez: Arizona State used an eight-game home schedule to manipulate their 10-win season and that is about to get exposed in San Diego by a bunch of rootin'-tootin' Longhorns.

Sports Bowl

Boston College [10-3] v. Michigan State [7-5]

Line: Boston College by 3

Straight Up - Boston College

Against The Spread - BC

Tab Sez: BC has a nice bowl winning streak going and Michigan State plays in that lamentable Big 11 conference - no more discussion necessary.

Texas Bowl

TCU [7-5] v. Houston [8-4]

Line: TCU by 3

Straight Up - TCU

Against The Spread - TCU

Tab Sez: The Horny Toads are not very impressive and neither are the fake Cougars, but a team with a reasonably good defense always beats a team with a not-as-reasonably-good defense.

Emerald Bowl

Maryland [6-6] v. Oregon State [8-4]

Line: Oregon State by 3.5

Straight Up - Oregon State

Against The Spread - OSU

Tab Sez: The Fightin' Crab Cakes bring their shiny 6-6 record all the way to the West coast for everyone to see. See, isn't it shiny? It comes with a factory warranty too - which is scheduled to run out at about 5:30 on the 28th.

Meineke "Lube Job" Bowl

Connecticut [9-3] v. Wake Forest [8-4]

Line: Wake Forest by 5.5

Straight Up - Wake Forest

Against The Spread - UConn

Tab Sez: The Tab sees this as two closely matched teams clawing tooth and nail for the right to free oil changes for life - who wants it more?

Liberty Bowl

Central Florida [10-3] v. Mississippi State [7-5]

Line: Mississippi State by 1.5

Straight Up - Central Florida

Against The Spread - UCF

Tab Sez: How Mississippi State originally got tabbed as a 1.5-point favorite is truly a miracle on 34th Street. It has switched to UCF now, but too late, the Tab already took that original gift that Vegas put under the holiday bowl tree.

Alamo Bowl

Penn State [8-4] v. Texas A&M [7-5]

Line: Penn State by 4

Straight Up - Penn State

Against The Spread - PSU

Tab Sez: The Nitts and their 436-year-old head coach do well in bowl games historically [22-10-1 under the old geezer] and recently [they have won four of their last five].

Independence "Holiday Fruitcake" Bowl

Alabama [6-6] v. Colorado [6-6]

Line: Alabama by 3.5

Straight Up - Colorado

Against The Spread - Colorado

Tab Sez: The poster child of why there are too many bowl games - the loser of this bowl is guaranteed to be a loser - no kidding, it's really the Loser Bowl! The Tab takes Colorado to be less of a loser.

Bell "Armed Weapon" Bowl

California [6-6] v. Air Force [9-3]

Line: California by 5.5

Straight Up - Air Force

Against The Spread - AFA

Tab Sez: You better not pout, you better not cry, the Tab is tellin' you why - because Cal - quite understandably - does not want to be here and Santa is certainly not comin' to town for them.

Humanitarian Bowl

Georgia Tech [7-5] v. Fresno State [8-4]

Line: Georgia Tech by 1.5

Straight Up - Georgia Tech

Against The Spread - GTech

Tab Sez: This bowl game is called humanitarian!? The Tab thinks not.

Sun Bowl

South Florida [9-3] v. Oregon [8-4]

Line: South Florida by 4.5

Straight Up - South Florida

Against The Spread - USF

Tab Sez: Even if the Nikes had Dennis Dixon, this game would have been tough for them. But hey - look at those uniforms…or logo…or something similarly distracting.

Music City Bowl

Florida State [6-6] v. Kentucky [9-3]

Line: Kentucky by 3

Straight Up - Kentucky

Against The Spread - Kentucky

Tab Sez: Ken-Yucky was already going to be favored in this game but our puzzlers were sore trying to think how those upstanding Seminoles figured they were going to get away with anything on the internet. Cheaters never prosper.

Chick fil-A "The Bowl Formerly Known as Peach" Bowl

Clemson [9-3] v. Auburn [8-4]

Line: Clemson by 1.5

Straight Up - Clemson

Against The Spread - Clemson

Tab Sez: Finally! The first bowl game we remotely care about in over a week. No, not really - ha ha - fooled ya! - and it's not even April 1st!

Insight Bowl

Indiana [7-5] v. Oklahoma State [6-6]

Line: Oklahoma State by 5.5

Straight Up - Indiana

Against The Spread - Indy

Tab Sez: Even 40-year-old men know enough to take the Hoosiers in this one.

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